What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
