I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We left an ass print on the piano.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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