Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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