and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
