it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
