Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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