I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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