well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
