oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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