When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
