My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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