Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
