Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
