He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
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