Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
