bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
