Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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