I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize