What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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