You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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