Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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