It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Found the puke drawer
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
