Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
