hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
