Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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