It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
