also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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