just tell him i said nine months
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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