She said her name was "party"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
