if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Screwed.edu
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
