he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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