She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
