Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
