Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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