I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
