Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
