i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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