Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
