butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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