How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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