I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
