The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
