Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
