Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
