I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This baby is an asshole
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
