come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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