See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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