After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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