Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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