HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
