Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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