Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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