Do you still have your period?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Drunk is a universal language darling
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize