sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize