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Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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