Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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