omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
this hospital has no fireball
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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