my mouth tastes like poor choices
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
