your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
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