so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
