Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
