Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
