apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
