hell yes lets make some ravioli
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
