My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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