there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
